UNREQUITED LOVE | JOY EMEH | 360LIFE BLOG - 360Life Blog

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Saturday, 4 May 2019

UNREQUITED LOVE | JOY EMEH | 360LIFE BLOG


Unrequited love 360life blog

Unrequited love: can it ever work? Read my story…

The first day I set my eyes on her was like something was let loose in me. It was a feeling I wasn’t sure i had ever experienced before. She had the perfect set of eyes. Her walking steps were gracious and her smile charming. When she spoke, it was in a subtle manner and with a voice I assumed must have been reserved for angels alone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to idolize her but those were truly what I saw and felt.

We just finished a job interview session. She went in before me anyways and to be frank I never really noticed her while we sat at the waiting room just as I never did notice other applicants sitting there as well. I was more engrossed in my phone. That was my fifth interview in 2 months and I really needed to nail this one if not for anything for my sick mother who needs serious medical attention.

I was busy browsing on interview questions and answers until I heard them call out “Madumere Chidimma!” over the intercom.
What actually prompted me to look up was the fact that the name sounded so familiar. I was sure either one of my primary school classmates or one of my secondary school classmates bore that name. However, when I looked up, i knew the name was just a coincidence but I didn’t complain as the sight I beheld was worth it. I immediately wanted this lady for myself.

 I know what you would be thinking at this point, “he is a womaniser. He chases everything on skirt”. Well, that is far from the truth. In fact I hardly ever ask ladies out. Nkechi, my university ex-girlfriend was the one and only female I had ever really asked out up until that point. Not because I wasn’t good looking enough or didn’t have what it takes but probably because I was yet to find that one woman that I clicked with. I just wanted someone I would madly be in love with. I didn’t feel that in my first relationship, wanted to get that feeling in my next one.

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I knew since she went in before me, she would probably leave before me and wished I could walk up to her and get her contact but I guess it was already late as she had already worked up to the door of the interview room, pushing the door open. So, I was surprised and alerted at the same time when I walked out of the building and still saw her standing by the road side.

“How could I have known that I will still get to meet up with you?”

“Hello” she gave me the quizzical look that says, “do I know you from somewhere?”

To say I was almost lost in that look would sound absurd. She swung the rather big handbag under her shoulder and it seemed to me like she swayed under its weight. She had her natural hair styled up in a bun-shape with droplets of sweat gradually forming over her eyebrow.

“Here” I said offering her my handkerchief. It was a new one. I usually carried extra along with me because of the hot weather. She must have been standing there for long. Sometimes getting a bus in this part of the town could take a while.

“And oh, forgive my manners. I am Obigwe by the way. I came for the same interview with you”.
That was when she smiled. She actually did smile and I felt the last resistance I had in me melt away. And that was how my journey down the path of unreciprocated love began.

She was a nice lady for sure. In fact, she did pay my T-fare back home that day as we were going almost similar direction only that I dropped at a bus stop before hers. But I had also met other nice ladies before her and none seemed to have captivated me the way she did. We exchanged numbers and started talking on phone and even visiting each other. However, at a point when it seemed like I was getting closer to her, she started drawing backwards, started avoiding my calls and me.

I wondered what I must have said or did wrong and decided to pay her a surprised visit and possibly confront her. This was around the third month after we first met. She had invited me to her place twice before- a small but comfortable apartment so locating it again wouldn’t wasn’t an issue for me. She was surprised when she saw me and acted like she was annoyed with me showing up unannounced. But after I apologised, she did mellow down.
We talked at length. I told her she should know my feelings for her were running deep and I don’t like the fact that she was avoiding me. She called me in that fond name that always sounds endearing to me when used by her.

“Obi...”

“Please don’t give me that you are not ready story. I am willing to wait until you are ready” I said, interrupting her.

“It’s not just that Obi. Aside from the fact that I don’t know if I am ready for this or not, I just don’t feel the same way. I don’t want to deceive you. I rather be frank with you. You are starting to fall deep into this and I don’t like it because I can already sense how this would end. One of us would end up getting hurt. Please I beg you don’t fall in love with me. If you feel you can’t be just a friend with me, then we can go ahead and cut the friendship off. I would understand”

“No, you don’t need to love me immediately. In fact, you don’t even need to love me back. I will do the loving. Just give me the chance and the opportunity to”.

“An unreciprocated love hurts. I just ca….”
She was sitting just next to me, hands tucked into the hem of her long top. I didn’t know when I did it but I found my lips locked to hers. I saw the shock in her eyes and before I could blink my eyes, I felt the sharp pain on my cheeks.

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“Don’t you ever do that again”
Massaging my stinging cheeks, I knew I had to apologize and typical of her she forgave my silly act.
I decided I would fight for this love. Well, that was what I thought it was. I just had to make her love me back. I felt if I hung on to her, she would come to her senses and share same feeling as I do. I initially thought it was because I was jobless at that point but I did get an average-paying job two months later as a financial accountant in a well-known pharmaceutical industry.

I literally ate, dreamt and breathed Chidimma. I was already making plans and building my future around her. It wasn’t until about a year later on her birthday that my hopes got dashed along with my heart. I wanted to surprise her with birthday presents and got her lots of goodies with a beautiful flower. From a distance, I saw Chidimma, my own Chidimma sharing a passionate kiss with man just in front of her gate. It seemed like a goodbye kiss as he entered his Camry and drove off thereafter.
Unrequited love 360life blog

She said she wasn’t sure she was ready! I never tried kissing her again after the last time. I wanted to turn and drive back home on my modest motorcycle but I knew I still wouldn’t get peace unless I confronted her. I did summoned some strength and courage to, she said to me, “Obi, this shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. I told you from the onset that I feel nothing. I told you this would hurt you but you felt you can love for two, when you are not Jesus Christ”.

It hit me hard. Wasted efforts and wasted emotions. But then, I wish I could help it. Even with that I found it hard to stop loving her but maybe I should have tried harder. Maybe I should have stopped the emotion at the early stage. Maybe I should have come to terms with the fact that the feeling was not mutual and she’d never see me the way I saw her. Now I feel it was foolishness on my own part.

Now folks you tell me, do you think one-sided relationship or love is worth giving a trial?

 Drop your comments. Share your stories with us.


JOY EMEH,
creative writer

2 comments:

  1. One sided love is not worth giving a trial. It hurts like hell. Nobody should even experience that at all.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Though,a one-sided love could not only be painful but hurtful, but the truth is Chidimma was plain and direct at onset and bared her mind to obi.

    ReplyDelete

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