A MUST READ FOR YOUNG MEN - 360life Blog - 360Life Blog


360Life Blog

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Friday, 7 September 2018


360life Blog, young men, marriage


 A few weeks ago I made a post on common sense for single ladies”. where I elaborated the need for ladies to take responsibility for the wrong choices they make in whom they date and eventually marry. I hope you check it out. “common sense for young men or what young men need to know before they get married" is a post for young, unmarried men. Although anybody can pick out one or two needful things, learning never stops for both genders. There is always a sense in every nonsense.

We all know how to prepare for every other part and stages of our lives but we neglect one of the most important stages. This stage if messed up with will affect every other part of our lives even our life purpose. This stage is the marriage stage. We take for granted the need to grow mentally and emotionally before going into marriage.

There are so many reasons marriages are hitting the rocks these days. Men and women have their parts to play in it. It’s easy to attribute the fault to the woman but what about the role the man plays?

 When a young man does not understand his place in the family tree, so many issues pop up which can cause cascades of events.

Do you want a successful marriage? Of course, you do!
As a young man, before you think of marrying, here are a few things you need to have in mind.
360life blog, young men

Families are failing these days because too many men are failing

More than some men care to admit, they contribute a large quota to the rate of failing marriages. A failing marriage is not just the problem of the woman as the society portrays it. (I know some eyebrows went up at the gender being addressed but this is not some feminist writeup).
It takes two to tango. So they should man up and accept responsibilities. A responsible leader takes responsibility for whatever goes wrong with his strategy or his team.

As a young man, you need to be responsibility conscious. Marriage is more than just paying the bride price of the woman. It’s more than bringing a woman to live with you. When push comes to shove, can you handle it? Leaders are accountable for outcomes. So men should learn how to lead in their homes. They should learn how to be a good leader.

Emotional management and intelligence

As a young man, you need to learn how to control your emotions. It’s too important. It’s very vital. So many factors depend on your ability to control your emotions. Real men are logical about how they handle issues. They don’t react and ask questions later, they ask questions and react from a point of logical reasoning.

Be a master of your emotions, be it anger, joy, sexual emotion and so forth. If you are going to hold your marriage together you need to learn emotional intelligence. Trust me, your wife will test that ability. Women are naturally emotional beings so your ability to master your emotions will score your good points to keep things together.

Always re-evaluate how much time and energy you give to things that give you pleasure and fun (not talking about women oh that is extramarital affairs) so that you don’t regret afterwards. Your purpose should push you above any form of pleasure and fun. Your concern for your family should come first above all else.
You are supposed to be the strength of your family in the midst of trouble and challenges, not fall apart at the whisper of a storm.

Value and adore your woman 

This is one major point young men should learn right from the dating period. Women are like a garden, how you take care of them determines how they will respond to you. A man should learn how to appreciate his woman, whatever value you place on her is exactly what you will get. This is not about spending endlessly on her, because money can never replace honour and respect.

We all know that words are cheap, so you show her. Some men know how to appreciate other women while they critically criticize their own woman. They forget that the women they were appreciating are a product of the value the men in their lives placed on them.
This whole gender war going on should never happen in the first place. Because each gender is unique and should exhibit the roles specific to them. A woman should not be expected to take up the place of a man and vice versa. We have misconstrued these gender issues and some men are giving up their roles.

In the exact words of Mr Ocholi “be deliberate towards your woman and not reactive. If you react to everything, you aren't being shaped into the man you can or should be trusted with a family. Enthrone your woman, make her a queen, give her a place that obligates her to uphold your honour. A lot of men do not appreciate that a woman will shape up to how you arrange her”

Good self-esteem matters

Carry yourself like a king with honour who has a kingdom to oversee. Oil your words with thoughtfulness and your actions with the discipline required of kings. How you see yourself will affect how others especially your family sees you. Know when to be firm and when to be flexible. Acquire wisdom.

A good husband never throws tantrums like a child. He knows his strength and never undermines his weakness. He never uses sees his weaknesses as a strength.

It’s not in a man’s nature to cheat

There is a generally accepted notion that it is in a man’s nature to cheat. Well, this is just an excuse to be irresponsible. As a young man, stop trying to achieve the feat of being a champion of women. Solomon in the Bible had much more women than all men will ever dare, in the end, he summarized it all as vanity.
As quoted by Mr Ocholi, “more women is not strength; on the flip side, it is gross weakness or lack of control. Be different. Divorce and bad enduring marriages are common already.”

These are just a few out of a multitude of what young men should bear in mind before they get married. There are still a host of others.
As a young man in the present society living in the midst of failing marriages, leave your advice and comments on what young men should work on before they consider getting married.

Credit: Mr Ocholi


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