RELATIONSHIP COMMON SENSE FOR WOMEN TODAY - ATTRACTION EXAMINATION - 360LifeBlog

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Friday, 10 August 2018

RELATIONSHIP COMMON SENSE FOR WOMEN TODAY - ATTRACTION EXAMINATION

Common sense for women today, 360life blog, attraction,

Hey ladies, women and girls alike! We all know that in the long scheme of things we want to find that life partner we have always dreamed of, we have specs of what we want in a man, in a date, in a boyfriend and in our male friends.

 Now, oftentimes we get disappointed when we supposedly do not get what we want from the males in our lives and we blame the males for all our woes, tears and heartbreaks. Have you ever wondered if it’s possible that the problem could be you, the woman in the picture?

Now don’t get me wrong. I am a big supporter of women and children rights and the likes of it, at the same time I want women to also take responsibility for the decisions they make in their lives and also for the things they allow. We have watched each other go through one vicious cycle of wrong relationship to another and it’s time to stop the wheel.
360life blog, common sense for women today, true love

Long before now, colored women were told and taught how to be submissive and quiet where decisions that concerns life and properties are concerned, customs and traditions demand these, so over time the female gender became marginalized, subject to all form of abuse. These abuse includes even children both male and female.
 These days, women from all over the world have risen up to say, No! No! It’s enough! But then in the middle of fighting for the right to be heard, respected and valued we have forgotten also that it’s not enough to recognize what is wrong and deal with it, that also we have to know what is right and stick to it.

Some of us in the search and yearning to be loved and accepted get misguided and fall into the wrong hands of same kind of people we are fighting against. So as much as we are fighting for the rights of the abused, let us learn also how to avoid getting into the situation altogether as much as we can.
360life blog, attraction, love

In the middle of being taught how to be a woman in a typical African family, being chaste is seen as a vital attribute for the woman to marry a suitable man. But does being chaste guarantee a successful marriage or even meeting the right person? These mindset have made some women to build illusions around what kind of man they want to marry and what kind of marriage they want to have, leaving them vulnerable to what looks like it but it’s not really it.
There are popular questions men and women ask about relationships, of which the answers are so varied.

There are good, marriageable men out there but the problem is that most of them are not wrapped up in your expected candy looking, suave, smooth words, prince charming dashing good looks, because some of them are in places where you would never care to look on a good day. Ask some who have successful marriages, you will see that they found love in strange places, in the most unexpected places. So as women and young ladies we need to get our head off the clouds and stop making the mistake of falling for the wrong guys while totally ignoring the right ones. We need to acquire common sense so we don’t fall for toxic people or make mistakes in relationships that will eventually affect pursuit of our life purpose.

Here is what I call acts of common sense for women today;

The question here is: What attracts you to a guy? Most of the times what attracts a person it’s not what keeps a person in a relationship, if you allow what attracted you to keep you in it, you will walk out of the relationship when what attracted you fades away.
360life blog, find love, attraction,

 Now as women, we get attracted to men who looks smart, who can shower us with attention, enough TLC (tender love and care), dole out enough PDA (public display of affection), someone who can buy us stuff, some of us are attracted to those who have good dress sense and expensive cologne and so forth. All these are good, but when you really look at it, none of these points of attraction actually tell you if these men are relationship material, none of the above can tell you if these men are marriage worthy. There are so many emotionally unintelligent people who look dashing and breathtaking, when push comes to shove they fall to the way side.

Core character qualities should be the basis of why you date a guy, which could include; how do they react in crisis or when faced with challenges, their thought processes, what is important to them, their humility level, the level of their ability to be responsible, how well does he listen to you, is he interested in what interests you, who does he answer to, who is the authority that he respects because some people are a law unto themselves which is a bad sign, above all how much they love God and I am not talking about being ceremonial about serving God but true walk with God.

As women, we should always remember that everyone reflects the result of their life experiences and some people’s scars are hidden behind so much glamour and glitz that when the flaws pop up we end up being hurt so deeply by them. Please before you get too emotionally involved, understand the reason why you are attracted to the person, allow time to test it. Guard your heart with all diligence because the issues of life come from it, but don’t restrict it. Guarding your heart is different from restricting it, most of us restrict ourselves from loving another and call it guarding it.

This should be a wake-up call for us women, so that we will stop being the architects of our heartbreaks by falling for the wrong person while the right person is just by the side probably trying everything to get our attention. Let’s stop friend zoning our husbands because we are carried away with the want of marrying our acquaintance. Let’s come down from our high horses of ridiculous expectations and examine our ideologies behind Mr. Right so that we can get it right.

I will close this post by giving a short story which is not so fictional…

A young lady was raised in all piety and reverence for God, she was taught to keep herself chaste so that she can marry a good husband. Then she met this guy who seemed like the perfect guy and they started dating, (you should watch the movie, the perfect Guy, and share your thoughts too), all suave and charming. When her heart and emotions became hooked, she found out the guy was a chain smoker and really has no love for the things of God like her. She begged the guy and even threatened to leave him if he doesn’t stop smoking and start going to church. In the scheme of things she didn’t want to be intimate with this guy sexually. Well, the guy, stopped smoking and started going to church.
He proposed to her, married her the traditional way and in the church. After the wedding night, the girl discovered he never stopped smoking, just cloaked it to look like it and started going to church to win her over. Above all, the guy is infertile, the sperm is so watery the chances of fertilizing an egg is slim. The supposed love flew out the window and he abuses her physically and sexually, barely six months into the marriage. She is at loose ends at what to do.
What advice do you give her?

Her upbringing did not prepare her on how to make wise decisions on whom to date and marry and even if the guy was a normal guy, her upbringing still didn’t teach her how to play her part in a marriage. You might blame the guy for what he did to her but there are so many signs that would have saved her from this medicine after death.

Sometimes we can be so watchful and still fall into a pit but what about those scenarios that you can save yourself from by just acquiring common sense and keen sense of instinctual perception.

I know we have varied opinions about this, we can leave our comments below, men and women alike.

4 comments:

  1. Great one....many relationships are in complete shambles today cos our eyes are covered by *love*... And trust me the last person to see clearly is a woman in love...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is a huge gap between love and stupidity.

      Delete
  2. This is a topic people tend to treat as trivial and it's really not. Thank you for the enlightenment.

    ReplyDelete

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